So basically I have written the prologue to my “Novel” Set in the elder scrolls universe. I would appreciate some feedback and tell me what you think and how I can alter it and improve it! :)
Contracted
Prologue
“prince of the pact and the deal, please, hear my appeal” Is what the Deadric runes on the floor
read. They surrounded a somewhat out-of-place fine silk rug on the dust coated floor of yellow
rock, accompanied by 5 cautiously placed piles of gold coins, each crowned by precious stones.
A middle aged female dark elf, knelt in prayer, begins to whisper.
“Oh he that creates contracts and bonds immortal Come to me and receive my generous gifts of
rubies and gold, so that i might ask something of you.”
The room remained still for a moment, and then the moment was gone as the age old dust was
whisked away by a stream of wind from out of nowhere. The tapestries on the ochre stone walls
began to flap and twist as if the were in the grasp of something. Something terrible. And then all
fell silent. As the Dunmer opened her eyes and looked up from her clasped hands, her gaze was
met with a small fat childlike imp sitting in a chair, sinking his teeth in to a leg of chicken.
“C..Clavicus? Clavicus Vile!?” she asks, as though she expected her question to go unanswered.
”Well who did you expect?” the Imp acknowledged, raising an eyebrow and throwing the chicken
bone over his shoulder. “You summoned me here with your ‘generous gifts’. I mean how could i
turn down 500 drakes and a handful of rubies? Is that rug silk? Oh you know how I love silk!
You’ve just thought of everything, haven’t you!” Clasping his hands together cheerfully.
“I don’t like this” A voice from behind the woman says. When she turns around she is face to face
with a muddy-grey dog panting heavily.”You’re much to happy for this, Vile” carries on the dog.
“You have to be up to something.”
“Oh shut up Barbas! Don’t make me turn you into a tankard again. You remember how boring it is
being an inanimate object is, don’t you?”
“yes m’lord”
“Good. Now, you young lady. Obviously you didn’t call me here for no reason, and seeing as you
filled your end of the bargain by summoning me here with these lovely jewels, I shall fulfill my role
in this story. what would you like? Adventure? Licorice? A place to finally call home? oooh, how
about…”
“I would like a son!” the dark elf excitedly jumps in, now standing up, forgetting about her pins-and-
needles, caused by 2 consecutive hours of kneeling
Clavicus’s childish grin dropped to a frown.
“You know, if you want me to do anything, you shouldn’t be so impatient. I’m the one granting YOU
a wish so if you want anything, you should be more civil. Now, what do you mean, a child? are you
infertile…or just shy?” Vile said, his frown slowly creeping up into a lecherous grin.
“No! Not at all!” The dark elf hastily responded. “I would like child born from a well respected
father, known for his courage and honor. And from a reputable family that will gain him recognition
wherever he might go.”
Barbas let out a rather painful sounding yelp.